Stop Waiting for “When” Things Are Perfect

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Author of The Widow in the Woods

Sometimes, I think we get stuck in a holding pattern. It can happen in any aspect of life. When I achieve X, then I’ll be able to do Y.

When I reach this goal, then I’ll allow myself to enjoy life.

When I have saved up this much money, when I’ve moved to a better location, when I lose 50 pounds, when I get married, when I get more fit…

We put things off until “when…”

I’ve generally not been a person to do that. I am pretty action-oriented. I put my stuff in storage and traveled extensively over the past five years. Some people thought I should wait until retirement, but I opted instead to do it immediately.

And I’m so glad that I did.

The thing about “when” is that it may never arrive. We’re only allotted a certain number of days on this glorious orb, and we have no idea what lies ahead. It’s essential to make the most of your life right now, regardless of your circumstances, or you might just end your time here stuck in that holding pattern.

Some background

If you’ve been reading this blog and getting my newsletters for a while, you know that I suffered a pretty severe injury almost two years ago. I injured my ankle, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I kept traveling and exploring, and I have absolutely no regrets. I saw a physical therapist and began to improve, only to finally suffer such a setback that I had to cease my travels and come home to (I thought) recover.

Now, what follows is not meant as a plea for sympathy or a whine-fest. I feel that it is the necessary background, and I’m presenting it as factually as possible.

I saw a specialist as soon as I returned home. This was just over a year ago. He did some treatments and insisted on very limited activity. When I first began seeing the doctor, I could walk a mile or so without tremendous pain, but as treatments began and failed, it got so bad I could barely hobble to the mailbox at the curb.

I had a ruptured tendon, and it was not healing. I mostly stayed off my feet for three months, yet my condition was getting increasingly worse. I sought a second opinion.

I had a major surgery in April to reconstruct my foot and ankle, and transfer a tendon to replace the one that was damaged beyond redemption. This required a month and a half of absolutely no weight-bearing at all. After 6 weeks, I began physical therapy and was delighted that I was making progress faster than expected.

Then, disaster struck, and a different tendon ruptured. I was back on bed rest and completely non-weight-bearing. I had a second surgery to repair this injury, and now I’m back in bed yet again for another six to eight weeks.

You can imagine the frustration. I went from traveling the world, walking miles and miles every day, hiking, and experiencing so many new things, to leaving my apartment maybe a dozen times in a year. I went from a bum ankle to being completely unable to walk.

But here’s what I realized about the past year.

I wasted it because I was waiting. Waiting until I was better, waiting until I could go hiking, waiting until I had totally recovered and could put this all in the past.

The doctors kept giving me these arbitrary dates in the future when I’d be restored to full mobility, and I chose to wait until those glorious dates to go hiking and travel and be “normal” again. I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t come up with very many solutions for prepping while disabled because I was so very convinced that this situation was temporary.

It’s not. It will be at least another year before (and if) I am back on my feet. The doctor is not optimistic that I’ll ever regain the function I had before.

If I had made the necessary adaptations to living like this a year ago, I wouldn’t have missed out on … well… LIFE… for the past year. I haven’t been to the movies, to a restaurant, to the store, or barely even outside – for a year.

Getting out of my lower-level apartment is nearly impossible without help due to all the stairs and uneven terrain. And even with help, it’s exhausting, risky, and painful.

I didn’t adapt.

I kept following medical instructions and resting and waiting and waiting and resting…

And a year later, I’m at an even more difficult point than I was before, and recovery is not assured at all.

This may sound like a lengthy complaint. Please understand that it’s not. It is the background that I need to provide to discuss the entire point of this post.

Now, I’m adapting.

In a way, getting the rather grim prognosis at my last doctor’s visit was a relief. While it’s certainly not the news I had hoped for, at least I know that I can’t continue waiting for “when” this happens to live my life, make my preparations, and adapt. I had been expecting it after the second surgery, but for some reason, continued to wait for permission to accept my circumstances. For some reason, I wanted the official word from the doctor.

Now that I have it, it’s rather freeing, in a way.

I went through the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression …. and with the prognosis, I’ve finally reached acceptance.

During the depression stage, I knew that I had to accomplish something. I felt like I’d wasted a year and I was so upset I couldn’t imagine things getting any better. I forced myself to put my head down and accomplish just one goal – finishing my first novel. I’ve said I’d write novels since I was a little girl, but time has slipped away from me and I’ve focused more on non-fiction.

I finished and published The Widow in the Woods exactly one week before the second operation. It felt better than any project I’ve done in a long time and it gave me hope for the future, hope that I’ll still be able to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. It helped bring me out of the dark place where I was struggling to accept my circumstances and find any light ahead.

Of course, I’m going to do everything I can regarding physical therapy, medical care, and exercise to regain my mobility. But I’m not waiting around until then to live my life anymore. In fact, I began novel #2 the week after the second operation. Telling stories and having readers like them gives me an incredible amount of joy. And that isn’t something I’ve felt much of for the past year.

Acceptance has been such a relief.

Now, I’m able to make plans to make the most of a life that is very different from the one I had expected. And I think this is something that is important in so many cases, not just one of injury and disability.

What are you putting off until “when” your situation is more ideal? Growing a garden? Getting prepped? Exercising? Buying a home? Traveling?

Please take it from me, none of these “whens” is promised to us, even if it is our fondest wish. Instead of waiting for “when,” accept and adapt to what your situation is now. Whether that is facing that a chronic illness or disability may not improve or accepting the fact that you don’t have the perfect rural prepper hideaway, choose to make the most of what you have and where you are right now.

As for me, I’ll be seeking a more accessible apartment soon. I need it to be closer to things like a grocery store so that I can get there on a sturdier knee scooter that I have my eye on. I would like to live closer to one of my daughters so it’s easier for us to connect without her having to travel three hours round trip. Honestly, the area I’m looking at is far from the usual ideal for preppers, but I need desperately to regain some independence, and I cannot do that way out in the country. An urban environment, at least for the next while, is the choice that will give me the best quality of life. They sound like such small goals, to be able to buy my own groceries or go out to lunch. But after a year of feeling like a captive in my apartment, to me, these things sound glorious.

Of course, I’ll be as prepared as possible, but we have to live for now, not for “when.”

I don’t think this is antithetical to living a prepared lifestyle. I think the more active, versatile, and able you set yourself up to be, the better off you will be, regardless. That horrifying SHTF we all prepare for might never come. Or, the SHTF for you could be like mine – something so incredibly life-altering that you have to rethink your lifestyle. And if the SHTF does come, being your healthiest and happiest self will help you weather the storm so much better.

And please, don’t feel sorry for me – I didn’t write this for sympathy. I have just achieved a lifelong goal, and I am really looking forward to the future.

I hope that if something may have been holding you back, waiting for “when,” you decide to live for right now, too.

About Daisy

Daisy Luther is a coffee-swigging, adventure-seeking, globe-trotting blogger. She is the founder and publisher of three websites.  1) The Organic Prepper, which is about current events, preparedness, self-reliance, and the pursuit of liberty; 2)  The Frugalite, a website with thrifty tips and solutions to help people get a handle on their personal finances without feeling deprived; and 3) PreppersDailyNews.com, an aggregate site where you can find links to all the most important news for those who wish to be prepared. Her work is widely republished across alternative media and she has appeared in many interviews.

Daisy is the best-selling author of 5 traditionally published books, 12 self-published books, and runs a small digital publishing company with PDF guides, printables, and courses at SelfRelianceand Survival.com You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, Gab, MeWe, Parler, Instagram, and Twitter.